A conversation with Mia

Mia: Mama, ma poop!
Me: You pooped? Ok, let me check.
[She turns around and allows me to peer in her diaper]
Me: Yup. You pooped. Let's go upstairs and change your diaper.
Mia: I want Lola see ma poop! [Lola=my mom]
Lola, overhears her coming up the stairs: You pooped?
Mia: Yes! Poop in ma diapers!
Me: Ok, Mia, let me change you.
Mia: No. Lola change you. No Mama!

If that's not a parenting win, I don't know what is.

Mia's Second

I'll let the lateness of this post slide (and I hope you will too) considering the circumstances of 1) a million family members being in town 2) a birthday party to plan and get together, and 3) all while continuing to attend BarBri lectures both in person, online at home and online at work. But, the most important thing to take out of this is... Mia turned two this weekend!!

Saturday, to be more specific. At 2, Mia had very little idea why when she woke up from her nap, the house was filled with balloons and Olivia paraphernalia, to her great delight. I told her many many times that day that it was her birthday, which she would repeat back with as much enthusiasm as she could muster, but of course, she has no idea what the hell that actually means.

Regardless, Mia very much enjoyed the mountains of attention she received from her many guests, and playing with the two children we invited. I thought about organizing some games and activities for the kids, but brought out a bunch of bubbles, bubble wands and bubble guns (all of which are completely broken now, not surprisingly) instead which kept them all very occupied for the duration of the afternoon.

At two, Mia:

Weighs 24lbs, 1 oz. (10-25%)

Is 33.5 inches tall. (25-50%)

Size: 2T

She talks - non stop. She talks to us, she talks to the dogs, she talks to her dolls and stuffed animals, NON STOP. We hear her talking to herself in her crib after a nap, before a nap, during a nap... NON STOP. You get the idea.

We've developed a lovely morning routine where Brian gets her out of her crib right after he's showered, and while I'm still slumbering, and she'll come in and say: "Wake up, Mama!", and she proceeds to climb into Brian's spot and pretend to go back to sleep. She's also figured out how to shut off my alarm clock, which has made oversleeping much easier to do.

She is so much fun, but she continues to be sassy. She's constantly putting B (Papa) in "Time Ouuuut!" for the thing she believes to be against the rules. Of course, Papa deserves it about 75% of the time. If she doesn't get something she wants, she hangs her head in absolute despair, until she either gets over it, or... I give in.

She eats in a booster chair, at the table, on her own. She's pretty picky in what she'l eat, and is really inconsistent in her preferences. One night, she'll eat an entire chicken sausage and ask for more, and others, she eats only the green beans. We try not to make too many things available to her, and we do our best to feed her the same thing we are eating. If we're having something spicy or strongly flavored, she'll get a bowl of Mac n Cheese and be thrilled about it.

She has started to pay attention to televisions and can actually sit for about an hour of a move. Her favorites, in order, are The Lorax, The Lorax, and The Lorax. At least it's a fun movie with a good message, and we've moved on from Yo Gabba Gabba.

We are maybe slightly starting to consider potty training, and on Tuesday, she took a bona fide tinkle in the potty. We celebrated with much fanfare, but haven't gotten much further than that. My Mom is in town until the beginning of July and vows to have her completely trained by the time she leaves, which is absolutely fine with me.

So Mia, you'll have to forgive me for this post being a bit less detailed than the others, but Mama's got a Conflicts lecture to get back to. I love you more than you can imagine,

Mama.

Surrogacy and Adoption

I know it's been a LONG, LIKE SUPER DE DUPER LONG time since I've authored a post here.  I hope Frenchie can forgive me.  But tonight I have something on my mind and lately with how cutthroat Facebook has become, it doesn't seem the place for it.  I know we have a small but friendly and powerful audience here, but I also welcome, in fact REQUEST that if this blog post hits your heart, that you share it in any way possible: your blog, another mommy blog, tell a friend, etc.  Tim and I are at a junction where we are trying to decide if, when, and how to grow our family.  And I have been told that in situtations like this, even though one's first instinct might be to clam up and stay low until everything blows over, the exact opposite is what you should, or in fact NEED to do.  When looking for help growing your family in a non-traditional way, miracles are possible and at times more likely when more people hear your story.

Because of the heart trouble that happened when I gave birth to Tybalt, I have been HIGHLY discouraged from getting pregnant ever again.  Some womens' doctors (ob/gyns as well as cardiologists) differ in their opinion, but because of the severity of my post partum cardiomyopathy compared to some other cases, both of my doctors say no.  Or, in more clearer terms, "HELL NO."

This makes me sad.  It makes me depressed.  It makes me want to raise my arms to the heavens and say, "THANK YOU GOD FOR MY WONDERFUL AND HANDSOME MIRACLE BABY.  I LOVE HIM MORE THAN WORDS CAN EXPRESS,  AND I LOVE YOU FOR GIVING HIM TO ME.  DON'T GET ME WRONG THROUGHOUT ALL THIS--I HAVE FAITH, BELIEVE, AND AM VERY THANKFUL.  ALL THAT SAID...WTH?  YOU KNOW I DIDN'T WANT AN ONLY CHILD!  YOU KNOW MY HEART AND 'WOMB' ARE ACHING AND THAT I CRY DAILY!  I MAY ONLY BE ONE OF YOUR DAUGHTERS IN THIS WORLD OF BILLIONS, BUT PLEASE, REALLY, COULD YOU DO ME A 'SOLID' AND PUT ME UPWARDS ON THE LIST A BIT?  I SWEAR ONCE YOU GET ME A KID YOU CAN TAKE ME AND PUT ME RIGHT BACK DOWN WITH THE REST AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PRAYER LIST.  HELP ME HAVE ANOTHER CHILD!  PLEASE, I BEG!  SOMEHOW, SOMEWAY (THOUGH SAFELY FOR ME, SO NATURAL PREGNANCY IS PRETTY MUCH OUT, UNLESS YOU KNOW SOMETHING I DON'T.  I NEED THIS GOD, I REALLY, REALLY NEED THIS.  (And here's where I humbly admit that I'm a tiny bit pissed you haven't already just left one on my doorstep at this point, seeing I've been praying so long, and even when I'm not you're supposed to know the desires of my heart.  Right?)"

So, Tim and I are planning on either adopting or trying to use a surrogate.  I don't know much about the surrogacy process.  I'm wondering if any of you out there know anything.  Perhaps you've done it yourself or have a family member of friend who has?  And when I say "done it" that could mean being involved on either end--using a surrogate to have a baby, or even being a surrogate for a couple.  If this applies to you or someone you intimately know, could you possibly work on connecting us for an online conversation?  I have SO many questions about it.  My brain is just swimming.

As for adoption, it is obviously more widely practiced.  And I visit many blogs of adoptive mothers to read their stories and get a peek into their lives.  However, again, if one of you have been through adoption or know someone who has--either adopted or given a child "up" for adoption, I would really apprecaite the opportunity to connect with you/them online.  Most of the bloggers seem too busy to really talk.  Either that or they haven't really opened up for the chance to talk because they don't have contact information like an email address on their blogs, oddly enough.

Anyway, this post isn't meant to be a sob story.  If someone is waiting for that kind of post in order to help Romeo and I, I guarantee if they wait long enough it will come.  At this point, I'm really just kind of hoping that by putting this ponderance out into the universe and asking any of you readers who are willing to spread it further--as far as possible, that someone somewhere will see I am a loving and hopeful mother and woman, who is just fervently praying for the chance to have another child or two (twins!  why not?) and that they find it in their heart to help me in my next step.  Whatever that is!

Quick Post

My life has been taken over by BarBri. 

This is obviously no surprise, and I'm not sure why I'm having such a difficult time coming to terms with it. I've done it before, and yes, your life gets completely taken over by floppy heavy books (why can't they bind these a bit better? too floppy), index cards, highlighters, and practice questions. I paid my tuition about two weeks ago and have had access to everything online, so everytime I have any downtime, whether at work or at home, I am devoting it to the Early Paced Program (which is really like 7 weeks worth of work, but you know..) until the regular Paced program starts on May 20th.

So that nobody thinks that I'm an overachiever, let's keep in mind that while the regular law school kids will be able to spend all their waking hours on this, I will still have to show up to my job for 8 hours every day, at least until they very last few weeks. So while I'm still at about T-80 days, I already feel like I'm behind. 

3 years out of law school, and things are coming back. Thankfully, somewhat quicker than I thought they would. While I feel like I'm spending an inordinate amount of time trying to pull Future Interest out of my distant memory, here's the shocking thing... IT'S BEEN KINDA FUN.

What I'm not going to do right now is write about how sad it makes me to think about missing out on so much time with my nearly two year old little girl when I start going to class every night from 6-10. At least not right now.

Injured

Bright and early saturday morning, at the very start of my highly anticipated weekend which was meant to be filled with errands, fun and cleaning, I walked down the steps carrying a fully dressed Mia, and did God knows what to my back. I didn't fall, I didn't slip, I didn't even miss a step, and yet... I was in serious pain. Work has been sucky and continues to be sucky, though some solutions are presenting themselves so it's not as bad as all that, it's just... unpleasant. The point is, I was very much looking forward to keeping busy and my mind otherwise occupied. So the pain did that, but you know, also kept me parked on my behind, giving me, you know, time to think about the sucky things at work when I do not want to be thinking of such things.

ANYWAY, my weekend was spent on my couch, neglecting all my normal weekend duties. I was perched on my fully pillows nearly the entire time, taking a break for a couple of walks so as not to reach full sloth status, but getting absolutely no cleaning or laundry done. Also, in response to my complaints that this has never happened to me before, and what could I have wrong, my husband says: Well, you've never been this old before. Thanks for pointing that out, dearest.


Other things that happened:

- In an attempt to keep my child entertained with minimal physical effort, I allowed her to play with my iPhone. In addition to the very many rearranged App icons, she managed to turn on TWO of my previously used alarm clocks. One for 4:25am, and the other for 5:30am. So, that happened. It was very confusing and I had no idea why my phone was ringing like cathedral bells in the middle of the night and early morning. I came to and made the connection. So, thanks for that, Mia. Way to keep us on our toes.

- In what turned out to be a poor back-related decision, but a good food related decision, I got up off my couch and went to the Las Vegas Foodie Fest at which there were 30+ food trucks and ate the most delicious things. B and I shared some Asian tacos, one Korean beef, and the other some kind of delicious chicken. I also made a beeline for a truck labelled Filipino Fusion (for obvious reasons) and had my most favorite Filipino food re-vamped. Khalua-marinated pork belly (and here's the twist)... NACHOS. Oh yeah.

-I discovered my new guilty pleasure while B is at work on Saturdays show: Vampire Diaries. It is terrible and great in all expected ways and I like it very much. I streamed the first four episodes on Saturday, and wished to watch it on Sunday but refrained.

Pillow Talk

My husband, who normally, is the person who keeps everything together, sighed heavily that he was stressed, just as we were turning out the lights. He hides his stress, and he usually hides it well. He handles our money, and our bank account was low and waiting desperately for my paycheck to clear (spoiler alert, it cleared and we are no longer low... until next time). Nearly 6 months ago, he was told that he would very soon be considered for this promotion, and just last week, he was finally given the go-ahead to officially apply. So he did, and now a week and a half later, he feels like he's back to the position he was 6 months ago... just waiting without much encouragement.

At times like this, the only way a couple can function is if the other party is the strong one - everyone gets their turn to reassure the other, everything will be just fine. But with the day I had yesterday, with one financial blow (at work) after the next, I wasn't feeling like the strong one. I had a day of planning out contingencies in case my Company shuts down: I'd get unemployment, we'd have to ask for forbearance on our loans, we'd keep my small car, we'd cancel daycare, etc. But, I did my best as the strong one. Reminding him that it had been less than 10 days since he put his application in, and they wouldn't have asked you to apply if they weren't considering you, there must be something bigger going on right now that they have to deal with, etc.

And then, I reminded him that none of it is real. If the society shut down (Walking Dead , or Lost style!), job promotions and credit ratings and car payments, all of that disappears because it just... isn't real. Remember what's important - moments like Mia running around our hallway in her diaper before her bath, taking turns roaring at us, and us taking turns pretending to be scared. The Giggles (capitalized, because they were GIGGLES) and Joy and Fun. As long as the three of us are together, under one roof, warm, healthy and together. That's what happiness is, and if we lost that, then you should be stressed.

As, as if on cue, Mia, in all her toddler glory, started crying from her bedroom and asking to come "In dair, bed", we let our sleep training guard down and plobbed her tiny warm body between us and went to sleep smelling her clean baby hair.

And then... of course at 3 am, when she yanked on my earring, deeply regretted our decision.

Visitor Season

This week begins the Frenchie family's season of visitors. On Friday, we welcome B's younger sister, her husband and our nephew. In two weeks, we welcome B's older sister. Two weeks after that, my parents arrive in all their long-staying visitor glory. A week later, my uncle from the Philippines also visits (where we will put a third visitor is still up in the air), and my Mom stays through with us until the beginning of July.

We had planned a peaceful weekend before the storm, but of course, these things never work out as planned. Our dearest Juliet and her family a bit of an unfortunate turn of events and were basically ousted from their apartment this weekend, so we spent Saturday morning helping them out (B providing the muscle and yours truly providing the throw-things-in-a-box expertise), Saturday afternoon baking and getting ready for a pot-luck Filipino party, Saturday night taming an overtired from lack of nap and late bedtime tantrum. How dare you put "ocean" (lotion) on my legs, Mama? And Sunday, well, as planned, Sunday was a clean the very dirty parts of your house (stove, kitchen, carseats) and fix the guest room day, as planned. Buy curtains for guest room? Not done. Buy towel rack for guest bath? Not done. At least I've got clean sheets in the dryer waiting to be put on the bed. At least.

But, since everything ended with the 3rd episode of Game of Thrones, everything was right with the world and here we are on Monday morning, with a lengthy to-do-list remaining in preparation of our visitor season.